Thursday, August 18, 2005
Change in the midst of real life
It's been one of those weeks, lots of work challenges and house projects going on (workmen are ripping out my roof even as I type-- the noise is so unnerving that my shoulders are up around my ears-- I'm convinced one of them is about to come through the ceiling!). It's just life, but it makes tackling anything other than sheer day to day living daunting.
How can it be done? How can I continue to move toward something new when most nights I come home from work too tired to do more than cook dinner, tackle a chore, call a friend and then go to sleep? I use my time as efficiently as possible, but I still find myself spending several hours of the weekend just sitting, staring into space, willing energy back into my body so I can face the upcoming week.
Some days I feel like I can't pursue my own projects unless I quit my job or at least take a sabbatical. I know that is unrealistic and often I start to get depressed, feeling like I'll never get a chance to do something more in my life and five years from now my life will be much the same as it is now.
I try to tackle little projects each day, a phone call here, some research there. I hope that it becomes like a snowball, that each step leads to a bit more momentum so that at one point moving will be easier than standing still. . .
How can it be done? How can I continue to move toward something new when most nights I come home from work too tired to do more than cook dinner, tackle a chore, call a friend and then go to sleep? I use my time as efficiently as possible, but I still find myself spending several hours of the weekend just sitting, staring into space, willing energy back into my body so I can face the upcoming week.
Some days I feel like I can't pursue my own projects unless I quit my job or at least take a sabbatical. I know that is unrealistic and often I start to get depressed, feeling like I'll never get a chance to do something more in my life and five years from now my life will be much the same as it is now.
I try to tackle little projects each day, a phone call here, some research there. I hope that it becomes like a snowball, that each step leads to a bit more momentum so that at one point moving will be easier than standing still. . .
